Telstar Logistics

New LAPD Helicopters to Look Like LAPD Cars

A reader of this Internet weblog recently sent us this photo of a freshly painted helicopter operated by the Los Angeles Police Department.  He writes:

The Los Angeles Police Department is in the process of repainting all of their helicopters to pay homage the units on the ground.  This is the prototype for the new paint, currently on one of their operating AStars.  The officers of the air support division have mixed reviews of the new scheme.  Most like it...a few think it is a bit too "Orca-like."

... or too "Crown Victoria-like."  Because when our source says the new look is intended to "pay homage the units on the ground," what he really means is that the helicopters are supposed to look more like police cars (minus the A-pillar spotlights and the flashers on the roof). Like these, for example:

In any event, our source goes on to say:

My friend is a pilot for LAPD and while participating in a ride-along the other night, I was lucky enough to get up close and personal with the new bird.

Lucky indeed.  Here are a few more shots of the new chopper taken during their flight:

PREVIOUSLY:
Helitack 406: A Firefighting Helicopter in California

Unmarked NYPD Chopper Scans New York Skies

(IMAGES: LAPD helicopter photos, courtesy of HClancey.  LAPD cruisers from SoCalMetro.)
 

Cloned Vehicles Give Commercial Fakery a Bad Name

Not that we would know anything about this sort of thing, but there's been a spate of media reports recently about the use of so-called "cloned vehicles" for criminal purposes.  Now, here at Telstar Logistics, we prefer to call this sort of thing "urban camouflage," but the basic idea is more or less the same: If you take a plain white truck and add logos to make it look like a commercial fleet vehicle, the profile of the vehicle is effectively reduced in mundane street environments.

That's the basic concept behind Telstar Logistics, of course, but now it seems drug runners and human smugglers are using similar techniques -- and the logos of some of America's best-known companies -- to hide criminal activity in plain sight on our streets and highways.

Take the truck shown above.  It's not a Mountain Dew van at all; it's a *fake* Mountain Dew van that was loaded with several hundred pounds of marijuana when police in Pearl, Mississippi searched the vehicle in October 2006. 

Or consider this fake DirecTV service van, which was unmasked in Georgia while hauling more than $1 million in cash stuffed inside hollowed out spools of coax cable:

But for pure, brazen chutzpah, there's no beating this fake US Border Patrol van, which was intercepted as it was being used to smuggle 31 illegal aliens into Arizona. Silly smuggler! The  "H" designation at the beginning of the vehicle ID number is only used on Border Patrol Jeep Wranglers. Passenger vans all begin with a "P."

ABC News reports:

Savvy criminals are using some of the country's most credible logos, including FedEx, Wal-Mart, DirecTV and the U.S. Border Patrol, to create fake trucks to smuggle drugs, money and illegal aliens across the border, according to a report by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.

Termed "cloned" vehicles, the report also warns that terrorists could use the same fake trucks to gain access to secure areas with hidden weapons.

The report says criminals have been able to easily obtain the necessary vinyl logo markings and signs for $6,000 or less. Authorities say "cosmetically cloned commercial vehicles are not illegal."

In August 2006, the Texas Department of Public Safety, on a routine traffic stop, found 3,058 pounds of marijuana and 204 kilograms of cocaine in a "cloned" Wal-Mart semi-trailer, driven by a man wearing a Wal-Mart uniform.

In another case, a truck painted with DirecTV and other markings was pulled over in a routine traffic stop in Mississippi and discovered to be carrying 786 pounds of cocaine.

Police said they became suspicious because the truck carried the markings or DirecTV and several of its rivals. An 800 number on the truck's rear to report bad driving referred callers to an adult sex chat line.

Clearly, vigilance is required.  Please stay on the look out for fake fake Telstar Logistics vehicles. And remember: The ID numbers on our tactical entertainment units always begin with the letter "E."

LINKS:
Fake FedEx Trucks; When the Drugs Absolutely Have to Get There (ABC News, January 18, 2008)

WFFA (Dallas, Texas) News Video on Cloned Vehicles:

PREVIOUSLY:
What Is Telstar Logistics?

(IMAGES: All cloned vehicle photos above via ABC News. Authentic Telstar Logistics photo by the real Telstar Logistics.)

Merry Shopping: Inside the 1962 Sears Christmas Catalog

During this holiday season, Telstar Logistics is proud to offer our readers a soothing counterpoint to the relentless commercialism of Christmas present... by taking you on an illustrated tour of the relentless commercialism of Christmas past.

Inspired by the fact that several friends of this Internet weblog recently forwarded us the same excerpts from a 1977 JC Penny catalog, Telstar Logistics reached into our vast corporate archive and emerged clutching a pristine copy of the 1962 Sears Christmas Book.

As you browse the Sears catalog, keep in mind that, according to the Inflation Calculator, $1 in 1962 was equivalent to $6.51 in 2006 dollars.  Conversely, $1 in 2006 was equivalent to $0.15 in 1962.

Obviously, this catalog offers a treasure trove of insight into the tastes and domestic habits of a typical American family living 45 years ago, so we've reproduced a broad cross-section of the book which shows everything from childrens' wear and phonograph equipment to power tools and ski gear.  Holiday gifts for everyone on your list, from budding young scientists to Bible-thumping fundamentalists! A few of the greatest hits are shown here, but you'll find more than 160 pages of consumerist archaeology at our 1962 Sears Catalog photoset.

Merry shopping!

LINKS:
1962 Sears Christmas Book (Flickr photoset by Telstar Logistics)

Wishbookweb.com (Enthusiast website with complete scans of historic department store catalogs)

PREVIOUSLY:
"Flight thru Instruments" and the Fine Art of Instructional Illustration
 

 

Sales Brochures: The 1936 DeSotos and Ford Ranchero for 1962

Two recent finds from the Telstar Logistics Product Literature Archives: a 1936 sales brochure for DeSoto automobiles, above; and a 1962 brochure for the Ford Ranchero and Falcon Sedan Delivery, below. Both colorfully illustrated and ready for you to click, enlarge, and enjoy. 

Feel the New Power!  Feel the New Speed! With Full-time Economy that Only Starts with a Low Price!

Happy Motoring!

(The interior of this Ford Trucks brochure can be viewed here.)

A New Design for Delta Airlines

After a painful, 19-month restructuring effort, Delta Airlines emerged from bankruptcy this week. The milestone came after Delta slashed $3 billion worth of annual expenses and trimmed its domestic schedule to focus on more-lucrative international routes, but It would be a stretch to say that the revamped airline is now in the clear -- as signaled by the fact that when Delta's shares resumed trading yesterday, they did so at a price slightly below management's expecations. Yet to usher in the new beginning, Delta also launched a rebranding campaign spearheded by the creative agency Shepardson Stern & Kaminsky in New York, and the most visible component of that effort is an all-new livery that will be applied to the airline's planes over the course of the next few years.

Delta's old logo (left) versus the new.

This is something that airlines do from time to time. Occasionally their efforts are wildly succesful -- recall the blue-ball design Landor Associates created for Pan Am, or Raymond Loewy's twin-globe design for TWA, or the 1968 bare-aluminum livery that's still used by American Airlines. But many attempts to freshen-up an airline's appearance themselves seem dated before too long. (United's mid-1990's blue-grey livery comes to mind -- it somehow managed to make a 747 look like a dreary cubicle farm.) According to Delta's press release, the centerpiece of the new look is "a striking three-dimensional, red “Widget” icon flying across a blue background that reflects the company’s successful transformation into a highly differentiated, customer-focused airline."

Exactly how one makes the conceptual leap from a cubist Widget to a highly differentiated, customer-focused flight experience remains something of a mystery to us, alas, so Telstar Logistics packed a lunch and set out on the Internets to see what others had to say about Delta's new look.

Jonberrydesign thinks Delta threw the baby out with the bathwater and ended up with something bland and soulless:

All I see when I see the plane is the Citgo logo. The new Delta typography is nice, but looks strangely like a second-rate clone of United's typography. While their upper and lower case serifed "Delta" may not have been as strong, it did stand apart from the typical all-caps sans-serif airline type that most airlines use and helped to project Delta's "friendly" image. Several years ago, Delta adopted a visual identity whose hallmark was flowing fabric in red, white, and blue. They beautifully applied this to their planes to create one of my favorite tailfins anywhere. Any company that can clearly brand itself without having to even use their logo has made a bold statement. Delta's current look achieved that on everything from its planes to signage to its website. Delta has decided to walk away from that confidence in favor of a more flashy alternative. The company's fact sheet is clearly defensive about dropping the existing identity. Two thirds of the facts defend the new look as requiring fewer paint colors, less time to paint a plane, and even requiring 171 pounds less paint - equivalent to one passenger, they say. I suppose they figure favorable figures for beancounters are a reasonable justification for bad design.

Oh snap! But not everyone agrees; with only 19 ballots cast, one non-scientific Web-based poll suggests the new look may be more popular than the old.

Dispensatory Rhetoric likes the clean appearance of the new livery, but thinks the execution of the rollout was cheezy:

What stood out to me wasn't just the sparse design of Delta's new livery (which saves Delta money because it uses less paint), but the bad puns on the site's home page and the press release announcing their emergence and rebranding. "'Brand' new era," "chapter of success." Who works for these guys?

The Hot Iron has some shrewd insights about what really matters to airline ticketbuyers:

The physical airplane is the last step of the customer experience with the airlines.  And my only close-up view of the airplane is very limited, when I am at the gate just about to board the plane.  Sure, I may see other planes out the window of the plane I am currently on, but do I look out and say, “oh, I want to fly that airline, they have cooler colors?” By the time I am on the plane, I have made my decision who to fly, paid for my ticket and am ready to get to my destination.

I see the airline industry in line with the retail banking industry, where they change names, rebrand, throw big parties, but what really changes?  Is service improved, both in quality and cost of delivery? Can I get personalized service and have a personal relationship with either?  How will a new logo on a sign in an airport and a new coat of paint on a plane make a difference to me, the consumer?

Being in total agreement on this last point, let's let that be the final word.

RELATED LINKS:

Delta Airlines New Brand Factsheet (PDF download)

Delta Logo Timeline

PREVIOUSLY: After and Before: How to Paint a Virgin America A320

The Instant Ramen King, R.I.P.

Speaking of things uniquely Japanese, Telstar Logistics would like to pause for a moment to mark the passing of a man who had a profound impact upon the people of Japan, to say nothing of tens of millions of hard-working college students and cubicle-dwellers worldwide.  Momofuku Ando, the inventor of Cup Noodles instant ramen and founder of Nissin Food Products, is dead at the age of 96.

As Reuters explains:

Born in Taiwan in 1910 while it was under Japanese occupation, Momofuku Ando ran clothing and other companies in Taipei and Osaka early in his career.

He was inspired to develop the world's first instant noodle product after coming across a long line of people waiting to buy fresh "ramen" noodles from a black market stall during the food shortages after World War Two, Japanese media said.

After his Chicken Ramen product became hugely popular in 1958, despite a luxury price-tag of 35 yen, he went on to bring out the Cup Noodle in 1971.

Providing the instant noodles in a waterproof styrofoam container that could be used to cook them using just hot water proved a stroke of marketing genius that made the product a hit with time-pressed people around the world.

Ando remained in the public eye until recently -- appearing on television in 2005 to promote a version of the Cup Noodle adapted for astronauts to eat aboard the space shuttle Discovery.

Often seen devouring servings of the dish he invented, Ando opened a museum devoted to instant noodles in Osaka in 1999.

It must be said that while Ando did much to combat hunger among the time-pressed and cash-lean throughout the world, his contribution to ramen cuisine remains problematic. With all due respect, it's tragic that many non-Japanese know of ramen only as a salty freeze-dried noodle thing that is typically served in a styrofoam cup. A bowl of real ramen, however, is a delicious and subtle work of art which bears little resemblance to its instant counterpart (as the superb 1985 film Tampopo amply demonstrated). When done right, it can even trigger earthquakes.

Nevertheless, Ando's instant noodles museum has been added to the Telstar Logistics Catalog of Global Must-See Tourist Destinations, and we look forward to sharing photos of it at an unspecified future date. In the meantime, we extend our condolaneces to his widow, Masako.

Nissin Food Products (company website in English): LINK

The Instant Ramen Invention Story (Flash animation in Japanese) RECOMMENDED! LINK

Ramen (Wikipedia entry): LINK

Ramen and Noodles Pool (Flickr group): LINK

The Coffee to Drink When Feeling Up Just Brings You Down

Deepresso Coffee, spotted recently at a vending machine in Uno, Japan.

It's served cold, of course.

The Civil Defense Logo is Dead; Long Live the Civil Defense Logo

We interrupt this Internet weblog to bring you a special announcement: The United States Civil Defense logo, the ominous icon which once graced tens of thousands of trucks, geiger counters, and emergency storage bins, is dead. 

Rumors of the logo's previous demise were apparently premature. Indeed, though many Americans thought the logo had faded away sometime during the Nixon Administration, this was not the case.  Instead, the familiar CD graphic with the white triangle enclosed in a blue circle, had merely been in quiet retirement -- perhaps in Florida, but most certainly buried somewhere deep in the darker corners of the basement. 

Now, however, the National Emergency Management Association, a group of state emergency managers, has announced the adoption of a new "EM" logo -- EM for "emergency management" -- which will officially replace the old CD. According to today's New York Times:

The insignia was born in 1939, said Michael Bierut, a partner in the Pentagram design firm. Its father was Charles T. Coiner, the art director of the N. W. Ayer advertising agency, who also designed the National Recovery Administration’s blue eagle.

The CD insignia was called anachronistic in 1972 by the Defense Civil Preparedness Agency, successor to the Office of Civil Defense. “The image was World War II vintage,” the agency said.

The EM symbol was endorsed by R. David Paulison, director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, successor to the civil preparedness agency. He attended the announcement in Washington.

The new image was developed by Morrie Goodman, an emergency communications specialist and the managing director of AGG International, a marketing firm.

Mr. Goodman said he first tried to update the classic triangle, using EM initials, but wound up with something that looked like the America Online logo. He was then directed by the association to take a fresh approach. In it, the letters EM and the words Public Safety and Public Trust are wreathed in blue and gold arcs, symbolizing movement, and three gold stars, standing for the local, state and federal levels of disaster preparedness and response.

“We now have a new symbol of what our profession is all about,” Mr. Goodman said.

[Tom Geismar, a principal in Chermayeff & Geismar Studio, a design firm] sounded less sure. He said the stars and swooshes seemed “more appropriate to an upstart airline.”

We beg to differ. At Telstar Logsitics, we believe the new EM logo would actually be most suitable for a third-party cafeteria food services provider, or perhaps an employee credit union headquartered somewhere in eastern Minnesota. But we can't quibble with Mr. Geismar's basic assessment: The new logo doesn't exude much urgency or officialdom, although that may also be appopriate. After all, the EM graphic will represent the modern-day heir to the former Civil Defense bureaucracy: the Federal Emergency Management Agency, or FEMA.

Civil Defense Museum website (Recommended!): LINK

All Telstar Logistics photos tagged "civildefense" (Flickr photos): LINK

(Photos above by Telstar Logistics)

UPDATE: A new Flickr Civil Defense group has been created to archive images of Cold War-era Civil Defense logos and equipment.  Feel free to join in.

Free Promotional Offer and Company Store Grand Opening!

Telstar Logistics has received a fresh shipment of vinyl stickers, in all-new RECTANGLE for the 2007 model year! 

Yes, that's right. No longer will you have to worry about attempting space flight while equipped with blocky, square-shaped Telstar Logistics stickers.  The new configuration is longer, sleeker, and marginally more aerodynamic than ever before!

And if you act now, you can receive several of these new decals, ABSOLUTELY FREE!

To celebrate the opening of the our new Company Store on CafePress, we're giving away stickers FREE OF CHARGE so you can test-drive the Telstar Logistics brand experience in the safety and comfort of your own home or prefecture.

How? It's so easy. To receive your very own Rectangular Sticker Set, simply send your US Postal Service address to our Division of Marketing Promotions using this convenient email address:

schwag@telstarlogistics.com

(Sorry! US customers only please.  We cannot accept international orders at this time.)

What will you find at the Telstar Logistics Company Store?  Quality workwear. Stylish threads for off-duty hours.  Clothes that express your forceful executive leadership and your sexxxy sensitivity, ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

The possibilities are limited only by your own expectations. But no matter what you choose, rest assured that every product in the Telstar Logistics Company Store is sold at cost. We earn absolutely nothing from each sale, which enables us to pass that lack-of-profit DIRECTLY ON TO YOU.

What are you waiting for?  Our mailroom drones are standing by.  Get your FREE STICKERS by sending your snail mail coordinates to us at schwag@telstarlogistics.com.

This is a limited-time offer that will expire when we are overwhelmed by swarms of marauding spambots.  So don't delay.  ACT NOW!

Free! Telstar Logistics! Rectangular Sticker Set! Order Form: LINK

Telstar Logistics Company Store (CafePress): LINK

(Shown above: Telstar Logistics "Highway Maintenance" T-Shirt: LINK)

An Online Society for the Appreciation of Fiberglass Mascots

Sometime during our last voyage to Japan, we had a giddy realization: Japan is a modern-day haven for fiberglass mascots.

You see them everywhere: Outside stores and restaurants, waving their sinister mechanized fiberglass arms (or claws) from atop building facades, or greeting you at ticket counters or post office mailboxes.  Often cute, sometimes menacing, and always distinctive, the fiberglass mascots of Japan are one of things that help make Japan's urban landscape so unique.

That said, Japan doesn't have a monopoly on fiberglass mascots.  Though now an endangered species, the fiberglass mascot also occupies a proud place in the history of American roadside architecture  -- from the beloved Doggie Diner heads of San Francisco, to Bob's Big Boys, to the towering Muffler Men who maintain their endless vigil to guard against excessive engine noise.

Upon returning home from Japan last summer, we created a Fiberglass Mascots pool on Flickr to provide "a home for storefront fiberglass mascots from around the world." The pool has grown at a healthy clip, to the point where it now serves as a sprawling monument to this unique form of advertising.  Feel free to take a look, and if you have any photos of fiberglass mascots to share, please do add them to the pool.

"Fiberglass Mascots" (Flickr photo pool): LINK

(Photos above, fiberglass mascots by Telstar Logistics)

This is How to Sell Cheerios?

End-of-aisle supermarket display, Los Alamos, New Mexico.

Photo by Telstar Logistics

Joe Meek and that Telstar Sound

Every once in a while, someone approaches us to ask, "Telstar, eh?  So do you take your name from the satellite, or the song?"

The answer is: Yes.

The history of the song is inseparable from the history of the satellite.  Produced by Joe Meek, inspired directly by the launch of Telstar I, and recorded by the Tornadoes, "Telstar"  became a #1 hit in the UK and US in 1962, just a few weeks after Telstar I settled into orbit. It went on to become an instrumental-only oldies/surf standard, covered by the likes of The Ventures... and many lesser lights.

Today, the original "Telstar" sounds like the kind of music you'd expect to hear during all all-skate session at your local roller rink. But it's certainly fun. Give it a listen for yourself...

Wikipedia history of "Telstar" (the song): Link

Joe Meek's original "Telstar," performed by the Tornadoes (1962): Download MP3

"Telstar" by the Ventures (1963): Download MP3

"Telstar" by Hans Annéllsson (1999): Download MP3

"Telstar" by Seksu Roba (2004): Download MP3

More "Telstar" history, as cribbed from RetroFuture:

It's July 10, 1962. Millions of people are watching television hoping to catch a glimpse of the first transmission from a tiny communications satellite called Telstar. Among those who are sitting glued to their TV sets is a British music producer named Joe Meek.

An avowed space buff, Meek watches with wonder as the first transmission is relayed and the first TV picture -- an American flag-- is beamed from space. The age of telecommunications has begun.

Meek is inspired by what he has seen. After the show ends, he begins work on a new composition he calls "The Theme from Telstar." The song has an infectious melody and Meek realizes it has all the makings of a hit.

The next morning, he gives a call to the Tornadoes, a crack instrumental outfit popular on the British club circuit. They trek up to Meek's studios at 304 Holloway Road in North London to give a listen to Meek's latest stab at pop immortality. Although they are not immediately impressed by "Telstar," they decided to give it a try anyway.

After the session is completed, the Tornadoes leave Meek's studio and go back on the road. But Meek--a visionary producer with an abiding love for weird special effects--is far from done. He knows his ode to "Telstar" needs something extra. First, he overdubs the sound of a Clavioline, an electronic keyboard with an otherworldly sound.

And, finally, for extra effect, Meek adds the reverberation of a rocket lifting off (purportedly the sound of a flushed toilet played backwards).

In one frenzied burst, Meek creates a three-minute pop music masterpiece. Decca Records, hearing its potential, rushes the record out with the shortened title "Telstar" and, in short order, it vaults to number one on the British music charts. Eventually, it becomes the best-selling instrumental in the country's history.

Overseas, "Telstar" is an international sensation. When the single climbs to number one in the U.S., the Tornadoes achieve the notable distinction of being the first British group to top the charts in America, a full year before the Beatles and the British Invasion.

UPDATE APRIL 2007:
The always-excellent Office Naps blog has compiled a collection of derivative tunes inspired by Joe Meek's "Telstar." Links and background provided at The Sounds of the "Telstar" Vapor Trail.