Helllloooo Race Fans!
It's that time of year again! Telstar Logistics received the secret signal from a friend who has a cousin who knows some guy who works at the car wash who got an email from a Nigerian ex-dictator that was forwarded by the National Security Agency. But the message came through loud and clear: It's the last weekend of October, which means it's time for the 2007 Illegal Soapbox Derby Races in San Francisco!
The excitement will begin at 1 pm on Sunday! Sunday! SUNDAY October 28, on Bernal Speedway, a thrilling mountain race course that towers above the City and County of San Francisco.
The Illegal Soapbox Derby is a venerable Bernal Heights neighborhood tradition in which heroic racers brave life and limb in gravity-fueled race cars. The vehicles range from the Fast and the Furious to the Crude and the Clunky, but all are welcome, and the Illegal Soapbox Derby Society enforces only one iron-clad rule: Every car must have a beer holder.
If you plan to attend, here's the Official Telstar Logistics Checklist of Handy Things to Bring:
- A hangover (or at least a simulated hangover), to wear as a badge of honor!
- $15 cash-money to buy a copy of the official 2007 Illegal Soapbox Derby poster (shown above) by Lucky Mule! Suitable for framing!
- Your camera, to capture all the Action! Action! Action!
- A well-chilled six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon to signify your innate cool!
- Suncreen, to preserve your pristine pasty-whiteness!
In addition, if you'd like to lay down a good foundation for your Sunday hangover, check out the traditional Soapbox Derby Pre-Race Party at El Rio with four — count 'em! — FOUR bands beginning at 9 pm on Saturday. Historic soapbox videos and assorted low-rent visual effects will be projected on the walls, and all your favorite Soapbox Derby superstars will be on hand to sign autographs on your most intimate body parts.
Those details once again...
Soapbox Derby Pre-Race Party
Saturday, October 27, 2007 at 9:00 pm
With the Flesh Hammers, the Double D's, the White Barons, and of course, The Demonics!
at El Rio, 3158 Mission St. (at Precita), San Francisco
The 2007 Illegal Soapbox Derby Races
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, October 28, 2007 from 1:00 to 5 pm
Bernal Speeday (at the top of Folsom Street), San Francisco
Be there, Be There, BE THERE!
We'll be there, handing out FREE Telstar Logistics stickers to anyone who dares introduce themselves. So introduce yourself!
(And if you can't make it,
we'll post photos later)
UPDATE, 28 OCTOBER, 2007
After an exciting day of racing, our pictures from the 2007 derby are GO! Visualize all the action in living color, here: Photos! Photos! Photos! of the Action! Action! Action! at the 2007 Illegal Soapbox Derby
The 2005 Illegal Soapbox Derby (Flickr photoset by Telsar Logistics)
The 2006 Illegal Soapbox Derby (Flickr photoset by Telsar Logistics)