During our homeward commute on this evening's train, Telstar Logistics was presented with a unique opportunity to chat with a leading local celebrity: Mr. Frank Chu, better known around town as "the 12 Galaxies guy."
Frank Chu is a San Francisco institution. Often spotted making his daily rounds downtown or at any public gathering where TV cameras are likely to be present, Frank is a full-time protester who always carries a neatly-lettered sign highlighting the benefits of Cotsgrogrenigul Coverage, or decrying the perils of Nexsrojrenikol, or bemoaning Qwintrozenikulled Suppression. And drawing attention to the 12 Galaxies, of course.
Frank Chu has also earned his own Wikipedia entry, where his philosophy is described thus:
Frank Chu holds Bill Clinton responsible for directing the CIA to withhold payment to him for being the star of something called "The Richest Family" during the presidency of George H.W. Bush. His protests frequently called for the impeachment of Clinton even after Clinton was no longer in office. Bill Clinton and various other US presidents are frequently accused by Chu of cooperating with the 12 Galaxies to commit crimes and treasons. Chu is strongly interested in television reporters and newscasters, who will bring him the publicity he requires to inform the world of the injustices committed against him. He hopes that this wave of publicity will cause a public outcry, which will result in the impeachment of various US presidents and the awarding of "$20 billions" in compensation for the damages he and his family have suffered.
Which brings us to tonight's commute. Upon boarding the subway this evening, we noticed Frank Chu occupying a seat near the door, with a vacant seat to his left. Remembering that the Wikipedia sayeth, "Chu respects personal boundaries and most social customs, and is always happy to share his views and answer polite questions," we we sat down to strike up a conversation. That is how we can bring you these 12 New Facts About Frank Chu:
1) When traveling on BART, Frank Chu goes into Steath Mode. He turns his sign upside down so that it sits pole-up, then drapes his jacket over the sign to conceal the text.
2) On weekdays, Frank Chu tries to arrive at the intersection of Market and Montgomery streets by 8 am each morning. He usually rides the last train home to Oakland at midnight each night.
3) Frank Chu says the Wikipedia entry about him is mostly correct, except the part about the lawsuit against the Gold Dust Bar. He says the lawsuit had nothing to do with the fact that the bar failed to provide him with complimentary drinks.
4) When Frank Chu is in Stealth Mode, he is very poised, even when he is in close proximity to law enforcement.
5) Frank Chu often visits 12 Galaxies, the Mission District bar named in his honor, on Wednesday nights.
6) Frank Chu has a business card. It's purple and very tasteful. He prefers sans-serif fonts.
7) Frank Chu's business card says "Protesting against the 12 Galaxies of populations since 1988."
9) Frank Chu has 96 friends on MySpace. (Our application is pending.)
10) Frank Chu lists "skiing" as his first interest, The 10 Commandments as his favorite movie, and he selected Beethoven's "Tempest Sonata" as his theme music.
11) Frank Chu blogs.
12) Frank Chu's most recent blog post, from November 30, 2006, says:
The pistachio's are better than the Peanut Brittle's because they taste better. I like Coffee Ice Cream better than both of them. The housing, rental prices is too much overpricing. The Peanut Brittle at Williams Sonoma is overpriced with too much overpricing. The rental pricing in San Francisco, is $1500 over the Regular Prices, like the Peanut Brittle.
Which is true, when you think about it.
Frank Chu's MySpace page: LINK
The Frank Chu Pool (Flickr photo group): LINK
12 Galaxes, the Mission District bar named in honor of Frank Chu: LINK
Wikipedia entry on Frank Chu: LINK
(Frank Chu photos above by Telstar Logistics)